Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
