Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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