I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
