And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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