Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
she looked like the before picture.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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