Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
