My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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