Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
