I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
