Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
