and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I could fuck to npr.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
