Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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