my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
