i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
