Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
