three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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