Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
