goodnight i made you a song goodbye
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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