there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
