We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
