dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
