Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Randomize
