DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
