You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
