i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
