I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
