dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
