It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I need water and some morals
Randomize
