You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Randomize
