on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
