very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
