There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
