this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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