also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
