the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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