You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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