dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
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