I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
