Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
