im drinking this country out of the recession.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
