no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
