is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
