Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
