fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
