he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
