She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
