i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
