She went from zero to smokin in five shots
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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