I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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