obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
