we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
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