69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
