so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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