They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
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