I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
