in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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